Today is New Years Day 2010, and about 6 hrs ago I was leaving the theatre having just experienced the movie Avatar (James Cameron). I wasn’t expecting too much, as many movies lately haven’t been good enough to write much about, and this post is NOT a movie review. Every once in a while a movie or experience comes along that jars me emotionally. Avatar is one. Beyond the effects, fantastic surreal world, and exceptional quality of images, the story is what I wish to look at specifically. (And again not in as much as dissecting it and reviewing it).
The story is nothing new. Underdog makes friends with the natives and walks a slippery slope between obeying orders and becoming a native himself. Eventually the truth comes to light, fails everyone, but redeems himself in the end by helping to save the victims of human indecency.
What happened today however, is the story and characters were a catalyst in my own self-reflection. I think about my own day-to-day drab life. I am no hero, no go-between with an alien species, my life is far from exciting. But I think about what I have always wanted out of life. I have always wanted to do heroic things, have a mission, a purpose, something bigger than myself that – although may not be life and death – is definitely something that involves risk and cost.
Is my life reflecting these desires? Not that I can see. I go to work, fulfill my domestic chores, raise a child, recycle, shop wisely, and squeak in some personal entertainment whenever I get the chance. The character of Jake Sully is not a stereotypical hero, but in the end its the same story. The dynamic relationship between himself and the female love interest is very much classic. And perhaps this is the legendary myth over the centuries.. but everyone can appreciate, if not desires a relationship where they are respected, admired, loved, esteemed. A purpose, esteemed, and to rise above the challenge to fulfill some sort of destiny.. to me that is what the “American Dream” should be. (if you understand my meaning… american dream is such a weird term).
So, what happens when a purpose, the need for relationship and esteem from a significant other, a challenge worth betting your life on, don’t seem to exist for us, in our day to day trivial lives? The result is a deep overwhelming blanket of loneliness. I loved the Avatar movie, but wasn’t expecting the emotional upheaval it created in me. Tonight I called a very special girl from the past, just to say hello & Happy New Year, but I called in response to this deep loneliness that I haven’t felt since her and I went our separate ways. This loneliness is the same one as when I played World of Warcraft for the first time and met an online friend, and after 8 hrs of straight playing had to say good bye as the sun came up. It is easy to identify with the characters emotion in movies/books/stories, to be IN the movie and when the movie/story ends, a great sadness can rise to the top. This is the loneliness I refer to.
But it makes me consider my life again. What am I doing with my life? What am I risking? What am I staking my life on, that I am willing to go to all lengths at any cost? We in the wealthy countries don’t think like this anymore. Only adverse circumstances that jolt us into conflict and apparent loss, I think, make people think this way. A purpose, to be esteemed, and to rise above the challenge to fulfill some sort of destiny.. I believe, is why I was born. Perhaps not to save the world, perhaps not even to save a life. But for something other than a self-indulgent bland, drab existence of routine and meaninglessness.
People keep telling me it is to be a father. To raise the next generation, and yes I understand that… and to some extent that is true. But even while I was a youth I felt strongly drawn to the story of the heroic, the rising to the challenge, the overcoming of the foe, and the reward of the true hearted. It is a classic notion and every guy I think knows it, every girl wants to be involved in it. Perhaps the foe in our era of selfishness is mediocrity and apathy. Perhaps our challenge is to protect our planet from ourselves. Perhaps our esteem will come from one another. Or not. Maybe I am destined to something else. But I think it is worth feeling this deep-seated grief and loneliness in order to get a new focus on life; to be aware and to involve this thinking in the mundane things of everyday life. You never know when circumstances will arise when our decision to act and take the hard road will send us slipping into a purpose much bigger than ourselves and where our lives will be used to help shape the destiny of the world we find ourselves in.
Aeiriuhnn Mair. Jan 2010
